I feel expendible. I try my hardest, and I'm just that easy to put aside because it's easier that way, than having to deal with it. I'm past upset and angry now. Really. I've actually stopped giving a flying fuck about this. I shouldn't be last, and yet I am. And I'm upset. But I'm still trying. Such is the cruel irony that is my life.

Gonna do hella band work for no reason but the fact that I get personal gratification from helping the band. ::snorts:: Okay, so maybe I'll make everybody's lives just a tad easier...even if no one cares.

What's the point if it when you never see each other? I might as well be alone. Except I don't want to be. Which is just BLAH. I hate the Cal Band sometimes. It's EVIL.

I blame Canada. And SARS.

::post scriptum:: Apparently my building has a roof deck I'm allowed to utilize. HELLZ YES. I can work on my tan...or something.